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UMBC Wellness in the Workplace

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May 2010: “I’m pointing to myself.”

How often have we accused other people of behaviors, actions, and language that we ourselves have used at times? It seems that in the heat of the moment we forget this and the result can be disastrous for our relationships. This practice calls us to see ourselves fully, for all that we are, both positive and negative. If we can learn to appreciate the full spectrum of our own humanity, we can do the same for others and compassion can take the place of criticism.

In the next month, become an observer of your own behavior and the behavior of others. When you notice yourself becoming critical of someone else, stop and ask yourself where in your life have you behaved similarly. What was going on in your life and what factors contributed to this behavior? What might be going on in your partner’s life now? Practice offering curiosity and compassion instead of criticism. What shifts in your relationship do you observe as a result?