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November 2011: “Pay Attention to the Present Moment - What is Being Asked of You Now?”

This month’s practice asks that you pay attention to the present moment in your relationships and use it to glean new ways of serving your relationships. Often we are so busy with acting and speaking in our habitual ways, that we forget that these ways may not be serving our relationships. If we stop long enough to observe the dynamics of our relationships, we can see how we’ve co-created them and may be able to learn more effective ways of engaging. For example, if you are someone who has a tendency to be critical, begin noticing the effect that this way of being has on your relationship. Instead of continually operating in this way, ask yourself right now: ‘What is needed from me in order to serve this relationship right now?’ The answer to this question will be different moment to moment. It may be that acknowledgment is needed, it may be that an apology is needed, etc. When you’re clear as to what is needed, offer that, and notice the impact that this has on your relationship.

This month, begin observing the dynamics of your relationships and design new ways to engage in them. Remember that what you design needs to serve the present moment. It’s important to cultivate the ability to shift into new ways that will serve the next moment. A wise teacher once told me “there’s no one ‘me’ to be.” Begin seeing yourself as expansive this month, capable of many ways of engaging with others. Then try new ways out as you feel called. Observe the difference and recalibrate as necessary. How are your relationships served from your enhanced flexibility of being?