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« March 2012: Top Transformational Relationship Practice #3: “Acknowledge that conflict is co-created” | | May 2012: “Observe the natural cycles within your relationship” »

April 2012: “Express ‘present moment’ gratitude”

We all know how wonderful it is to receive acknowledgment and how this gift can create connection with our partners. The ability to offer sincere acknowledgment is a core capacity of healthy relationships and a skill we can grow. Think back on a time when you received a heart-felt acknowledgment…what were the qualities of it? Chances are it was a very specific and well-observed piece of praise, not something generic and untrue. How might our relationships be different if we hone our senses and offer a piece of gratitude to our partner for something specific that is happening in the moment?

In the next month, pay attention to the daily exchanges in your relationships. If you notice something you appreciate, instead of saying ‘thank you’ or noting internally how good they are at something, try being more specific and verbally offer what you appreciate in that moment. Not sure what words to use? Here are some suggestions:

For expressing gratitude: ‘I always know I can count on you for X…that really matters to me.’

For sharing something that you appreciate about the essence of that person: ‘In your presence, life shows up for me as X (whatever quality arises).’

For offering a compliment: ‘It’s clear that X matters to you – you’re so good at that.’

These are some simple suggestions. Use your own words and pay attention to how your gift of gratitude is received!