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February 2013: “Forgive yourself and recommit to creating healthy relationships”

In the pursuit of creating healthy relationships, we will inevitably slip now and then and make mistakes that affect our relationships. This is to be expected. We are practitioners of healthy relationships and as such we are actively engaged in the pursuit of good relationships, but we are not perfect. This said, what we do after realizing our error is the thing that matters most. We can berate ourselves, give up on working on the relationship, choose to ignore the situation, or forgive ourselves and recommit again to creating a healthy relationship. Relationships are not finite entities; they are amoeba-like and can change easily. What’s needed is an attitude of self-acceptance and a plan for action in the future.

In the next month, when you notice any damage that you did to a relationship, either unintentionally or intentionally, stop and pause for a moment. Ask yourself the following questions: 1. What harm was created and to whom?; 2. What can I do to forgive myself?; and 3) What can I do to make amends? Follow through with answering these questions and taking different actions. Notice the difference it makes in your relationship.