« RAC New Recreation Hours & Classes | Main | April 2014: “Cultivate Deep Listening Through Practicing Empathy” »
March 2014: “Cultivate Deep Listening Through ‘Mirroring’”
The practice of mirroring is a commonplace technique used in cultivating active listening in relationships. There are several ways to mirror. You can mirror non-verbally by reflecting back subtle facial expressions, or the body posture of your partner. This can be effective at times when emotions run high and compassion is needed. Another form of mirroring can be used in verbal communication while listening. You do this by verbally stating to your partner what you heard him/her say. There are times when it’s effective to mirror back word-for-word what you hear, for example when repeating back instructions given to you. However, in most cases, it’s better and more natural to use mirroring to paraphrase what has been said. This can be very powerful for our partners to know that they are seen and heard and often this process allows for clarity and insights that otherwise might not occur. After mirroring, it’s important to check in for agreement to provide space for clarification, e.g., “Did I understand you?” or “Is that accurate?” An extra gift of listening can be the follow-up question: “What else?”
In the month ahead look for opportunities to practice mirroring as you listen to your partners. This practice might feel a little awkward at first but in time, you’ll find your own language and way to mirror that’s natural. It’s important that you be sincere with using this technique, otherwise your partner can feel manipulated. Where time allows, ask the follow-up questions: “Did I understand you?” and “What else?” Notice how the gift of deep listening is received by your partner and how it deepens your relationship as a result.
Posted on February 28, 2014 4:21 PM Permalink
Search
Recent Posts
- April 2014: “Cultivate Deep Listening Through Practicing Empathy”
- March 2014: “Cultivate Deep Listening Through ‘Mirroring’”
- RAC New Recreation Hours & Classes
- February 2014: “Perceive Your Partner with ‘Fresh-Start Mind’”
- January 2014: “Celebrate Your Successes and Plan Your Territories of Learning for the New Year”
- December 2013: “Increase Your Happiness and Improve Your Relationships by Spending Quality Time Together”
- November 2013: “Cultivating Deposits in our Emotional Bank Account: Apologizing Sincerely When We Make a Withdrawal”
- October 2013: “Cultivating Deposits in our Emotional Bank Account: Showing Personal Integrity”
- September 2013: “Cultivating Deposits in our Emotional Bank Account: Attending to the Little Things”
- August 2013: “Cultivating Deposits in our Emotional Bank Account: Clarifying Expectations”
Categories
Archives
- April 2014
- February 2014
- January 2014
- December 2013
- November 2013
- October 2013
- August 2013
- June 2013
- May 2013
- March 2013
- February 2013
- January 2013
- December 2012
- November 2012
- October 2012
- September 2012
- August 2012
- July 2012
- June 2012
- May 2012
- March 2012
- February 2012
- January 2012
- December 2011
- November 2011
- September 2011
- July 2011
- June 2011
- May 2011
- April 2011
- March 2011
- February 2011
- January 2011
- December 2010
- November 2010
- October 2010
- September 2010
- July 2010
- June 2010
- May 2010
- April 2010
- March 2010
- February 2010
- January 2010
- December 2009
- November 2009
- October 2009
- September 2009
- August 2009
- July 2009
- May 2009
- April 2009
- March 2009
- February 2009
