UMBC Wellness in the Workplace

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September 2014: “Communicate Authentically and Avoid Knee-Jerk Clichés”

We’ve all been there. A colleague, friend, or loved one shares some devastating news with us. In this moment, we are caught off guard and offer one of the following clichés or canned responses: ‘Everything happens for a reason,’ ‘What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger,’ ‘I’m sorry for your loss,’ ‘Let me know if you need anything,’ etc. Think of a difficult time in your own life where you’ve heard the same words. Did you feel connected and comforted as a result?

The goal is not to get rid of using clichés entirely. If we truly believe and mean what we’re saying, then continue to use them. However, if upon examination, we’re using them to recover from an awkward moment (i.e., it’s more about us), then instead pause and allow the discomfort in. See this moment as a gift to authentically communicate and be of service. You don’t need to have the perfect words. Be present and simply asking how your partner is feeling. Simply listening and reflecting back your own authentic words of encouragement or finding out what’s needed most and then delivering support can make a world of difference. Practice authentically communicating in the next month and notice what shifts occur in you and your relationship as a result.

Posted on September 2, 2014 12:46 PM