Wellness in the Workplacetag:www.umbc.edu,2015:/blogs/wellness//672015-06-11T18:04:06ZMovable Type 3.34Benefits Coverage for Weight Loss Programstag:www.umbc.edu,2015:/blogs/wellness//67.177962015-06-11T17:55:26Z2015-06-11T18:04:06ZAre you interested in joining a weight loss program such as Weight Watchers at Work and would like some financial assistance? We recently learned that our benefits plans have reimbursement available for participation in weight loss programs. Carefirst and United...Jill Wardell
http://stateofmaryland.welcometouhc.com/files/stateofmaryland/content/UHC-%20Weight%20Loss%20Claim%20Form_2015%20FINAL_SOM.pdf
Carefirst: http://www.carefirst.com/statemd/attachments/md-weight-loss-membership-reimbursement-form-cst2588.pdf
You may also be able to use your healthcare flexible spending account funds if you are using the program in the treatment of an existing disease such as obesity, heart disease, diabetes, and not to simply maintain general good health. A Letter of Medical Necessity from a licensed medical practitioner is required. The cost of foods associated with a weight loss program are not covered nor are vitamins or supplements utilized to maintain general health. However, if these or other weight loss drugs (whether over the counter or prescribed) are specifically recommended by a medical practitioner for a specific medical condition, they are covered. For more information contact Connect Your Care at 866-971-4646.]]>
April 2015: “Create Space for Your Partner to Thrive”tag:www.umbc.edu,2015:/blogs/wellness//67.177722015-04-06T16:47:58Z2015-04-06T16:50:53ZWe’ve all done it. In an effort to be helpful, we over insert ourselves in situations with our partner and the outcome feels more like control than help. What’s going on here? If we stop and examine our desire to...Jill Wardell
We’ve all done it. In an effort to be helpful, we over insert ourselves in situations with our partner and the outcome feels more like control than help. What’s going on here? If we stop and examine our desire to help, often we will find an underlining concern present about how our partner is/isn’t handling the situation. Once we’ve identified this, we should ask ourselves the following questions: “What will the outcome be if I intervene and voice this concern, both for the situation and my partner?” and “What will the outcome be if I don’t intervene and let things play out, both for the situation and my partner?” There are benefits and consequences to every choice we make, and, in this case, there may be larger consequences on our relationship if we try to micromanage the situation. When we give our partners enough space to trust their instincts and make decisions, we create the conditions for them to learn and thrive.
In the next month, as you coordinate action with different partners, notice your desire to help and take a deeper look to identify any underlying concerns. Ask the above questions and determine whether or not you will intervene. If you choose to intervene, consider how you might do so in a way that preserves multiple perspectives and gives your partner enough room to learn and thrive. Notice how this practice shifts the dynamic between you and helps you both learn and thrive.
March 2015: “Master the Art of Polite Disagreement”tag:www.umbc.edu,2015:/blogs/wellness//67.177532015-03-09T15:57:24Z2015-03-09T16:01:59ZMost of us have experienced the power of social influence. Think about a time when you’ve been in a meeting and when asked to respond to an issue, you have gone along with the rest of the group instead of...Jill Wardell
http://www.crucialskills.com/2015/03/one-simple-skill-to-overcome-peer-pressure/?elqTrackId=4e224ac95af44e74892829fceeb2666b&elqaid=3122&elqat=1
Here’s how to do it. In the next month, as you find yourself engaged in group conversations where your opinion is different from the majority, try one of the following sentence stems to politely disagree. For a situation that requires one answer: “I might have seen it differently. I think it’s X.” For a situation where there is no one answer and more complexity exists: “I can see how your solution might work AND I have another to suggest since we’re on the topic.” One of the keys to doing this skillfully is to check your attitude beforehand and find out your intention. If you intend to make others wrong or show that your answer is the obvious only solution, this will come across loud and clear. Even if you feel this way, try to think spaciously and see multiple solutions as legitimate. The more you deliver your solution as only one possibility of 10,000, the more likely people are to listen and your suggestion and still see you as a team player. So, this month’s practice is really two-fold: 1) detaching from the idea of you have the one right answer; and 2) delivering our suggestion in language that disagrees politely, in a way that doesn’t make anyone else wrong. Try this practice in the next month and notice how it changes the dynamic of the group conversation and the outcome of the meeting as a result.
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February 2015: “Create Conscious Closures in Your Relationships”tag:www.umbc.edu,2015:/blogs/wellness//67.177352015-02-02T17:56:56Z2015-02-02T18:00:20ZAt some point in time, all of our relationships will come to an end, whether by chance or by choice. For those where we have a choice, this month’s practice is dedicated to choosing a conscious, peaceful closure, one that...Jill Wardell
At some point in time, all of our relationships will come to an end, whether by chance or by choice. For those where we have a choice, this month’s practice is dedicated to choosing a conscious, peaceful closure, one that preserves good will for both parties. The first step toward this is an authentic desire for good on behalf of our partner. Regardless of the situation, if we can get to a place where we can see that our partner’s wants and needs are not that dissimilar from our own, we are able to engage in a more enlightened conversation without getting sucked into the details of who said what. From this more spacious perspective, we can acknowledge the relationship for all of the ways it has served us individually and collectively. The final step is owning our own truth about what’s needed now in order for our continued growth and well-being. The more we can engage in this conversation peacefully, without blame, the more we are able to preserve good will and promote acceptance of this new reality.
As you engage in your relationships and particularly those where a closure is eminent, consider this month’s approach as one framework for having a conscious conversation. These conversations don’t have to be dreaded unskillful messes. When done well with thoughtfulness and a heart full of gratitude, they can be gifts for both us and our partner. Notice what happens when you consciously engage in these conversations. How does it shift the energy between you and the outcome of the conversation as a result?
“Acknowledge Gifts Given, Gifts Received, and Next Steps in Co-creating Your Relationship”tag:www.umbc.edu,2015:/blogs/wellness//67.177202015-01-05T15:51:08Z2015-01-05T16:25:46ZHappy New Year! At the end of the year, it’s a perfect time to stop, pause and reflect on the state of our relationships. There are likely many implicit and explicit things we did in the past year to ‘tend’...Jill Wardell
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December 2014: “Embrace Conflict as Your Teacher.”tag:www.umbc.edu,2014:/blogs/wellness//67.177102014-12-01T14:00:39Z2014-12-01T14:03:37ZAll relationships at one time or another will experience conflict, that’s a fact. When this happens, most of us get so entrenched in the details of the conflict that we lose sight of the meta view, or 20,000 foot level...Jill Wardell
All relationships at one time or another will experience conflict, that’s a fact. When this happens, most of us get so entrenched in the details of the conflict that we lose sight of the meta view, or 20,000 foot level perspective. One way to enlarge our perspective is to look to observe mother nature. If we look at the history of our planet, there have been several phases where the earth invited conflict, destroying existing life in order for new life to spring into existence. In the case of the universe, destruction and creation go hand in hand. How might we be different in the midst of our human conflicts if we sense that this same creative process is happening through us?
This month’s practice invites you to rise above the details to look at the growth that’s happening as a result of the conflict. What new competencies is this conflict birthing in you and your partner that are necessary for you both to evolve and grow? Instead of getting caught up into victim-oriented stories, become a mindful creator, focusing instead on the gifts of this conflict. Pay attention to the many ways that your conflict is your teacher and become a student of it. Notice how shifting your perspective around conflict changes how you ‘be’ in it and changes your partner as well.
November 2014: “Let Go of a Negative Behavior Pattern for the Sake of Your Partner.”tag:www.umbc.edu,2014:/blogs/wellness//67.177002014-11-03T21:08:30Z2014-11-03T21:46:12ZLet’s face it. We all have personal, negative behaviors that impact our lives and the lives of others around us. When we receive feedback, it’s often easier to defend these behaviors and point the finger at those on the receiving...Jill Wardell
Let’s face it. We all have personal, negative behaviors that impact our lives and the lives of others around us. When we receive feedback, it’s often easier to defend these behaviors and point the finger at those on the receiving end then it is to take a good, hard look at ourselves. When we look a little deeper, we may find ourselves attached – finding ways to show how these behaviors are justified and have served us over the years. Often though, letting these behaviors go unexamined and unchallenged has also negatively impacted our lives and our relationships. November’s practice is to determine and let go of one negative behavior for the sake of our relationships.
In the coming month, spend some time reflecting on feedback you’ve received over the years and identify one behavior that has created significant problems in your relationships. Regardless of how you feel about the behavior, commit to not practicing it this month. Create a strategy for how you’ll handle situations where this behavior typically shows up and when it does, try something else. If you have a hard time identifying an alternate behavior, think about one that will augment a deeper connection and fostering of good will between you and your partner. Know that being uncomfortable is a sign of learning! Notice how the creation of this new positive behavior impacts how you are received in your relationships and strengthens them as a result.
Expanded Healthy Snack Vending Programtag:www.umbc.edu,2014:/blogs/wellness//67.176982014-10-28T19:58:49Z2014-10-28T20:00:01ZUMBC Vending is pleased to announce the Healthy Vending program is expanding. A sixth “Healthy Choices” machine can now be found on the first floor of Sondheim. This new machines complements machines already located in Math/Psych, The RAC, the Library,...Jill Wardell
UMBC Vending is pleased to announce the Healthy Vending program is expanding. A sixth “Healthy Choices” machine can now be found on the first floor of Sondheim. This new machines complements machines already located in Math/Psych, The RAC, the Library, University Center, and Fine Arts buildings.
The “Healthy Choices” machines offer healthier alternatives to fare commonly found in vending machines around campus including Pop Chips, Kettle Brand Potato Chips, Pirates Booty popcorn, Bare Fruit Bake-Dried Mangos, Edamame, and Snackimals crackers.
Please contact vending@umbc.edu with any questions about the Healthy Vending Program. We hope you take advantage of the healthy alternatives to standard snack vending! Remember, a mind is a terrible thing to waste and a waist is a terrible thing to mind!
October 2014: “Appreciate and Cultivate What You Already Have.”tag:www.umbc.edu,2014:/blogs/wellness//67.176622014-09-26T20:59:50Z2014-09-26T21:00:45ZWhen the going gets tough in our relationships, it’s easy to assume that the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. While in certain circumstances it might be, there are many circumstances where we can find...Jill Wardell
When the going gets tough in our relationships, it’s easy to assume that the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. While in certain circumstances it might be, there are many circumstances where we can find gold in our own back yard by appreciating and cultivating what we already have. Staying put and cultivating what we have is a choice somewhat foreign for our culture that prizes leaving as the first recourse. With the focus on negative news, we unfortunately have very few visible models of how to be in the peaks and valleys that come with healthy relationships.
This month’s practice is about cultivating sufficiency in our relationships, or a sense of ‘enoughness.’ For this month, declare that your relationship is enough just as it is. Even if you are in a valley or conflict, notice the growth that is trying to happen as a result and be grateful and curious for what is unfolding. Another sufficiency strategy is to recommit to that which you appreciate in this relationship…how might the other challenging areas change as a result? Spend some time cultivating what you already have and notice any shifts that happen for you personally and in your relationship as a result.
September 2014: “Communicate Authentically and Avoid Knee-Jerk Clichés”tag:www.umbc.edu,2014:/blogs/wellness//67.176412014-09-02T17:46:37Z2014-09-02T17:47:03ZWe’ve all been there. A colleague, friend, or loved one shares some devastating news with us. In this moment, we are caught off guard and offer one of the following clichés or canned responses: ‘Everything happens for a reason,’ ‘What...Jill Wardell
We’ve all been there. A colleague, friend, or loved one shares some devastating news with us. In this moment, we are caught off guard and offer one of the following clichés or canned responses: ‘Everything happens for a reason,’ ‘What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger,’ ‘I’m sorry for your loss,’ ‘Let me know if you need anything,’ etc. Think of a difficult time in your own life where you’ve heard the same words. Did you feel connected and comforted as a result?
The goal is not to get rid of using clichés entirely. If we truly believe and mean what we’re saying, then continue to use them. However, if upon examination, we’re using them to recover from an awkward moment (i.e., it’s more about us), then instead pause and allow the discomfort in. See this moment as a gift to authentically communicate and be of service. You don’t need to have the perfect words. Be present and simply asking how your partner is feeling. Simply listening and reflecting back your own authentic words of encouragement or finding out what’s needed most and then delivering support can make a world of difference. Practice authentically communicating in the next month and notice what shifts occur in you and your relationship as a result.
August 2014: “Suspend Your Desire to Fix”tag:www.umbc.edu,2014:/blogs/wellness//67.176292014-08-01T20:39:02Z2014-08-01T20:41:09ZOne of our most basic desires that shows up in our relationships is our desire to fix things. There is nothing wrong with wanting things to be done right, for our partners to have their problems solved, for desiring order...Jill Wardell
One of our most basic desires that shows up in our relationships is our desire to fix things. There is nothing wrong with wanting things to be done right, for our partners to have their problems solved, for desiring order in the midst of chaos. However, there is a bigger question to ponder. What is the consequence on our relationships when we always jump in to fix things? Most of the time, it’s that we miss the boat on truly serving our partner’s needs and helping them grow. By suspending our desire to fix, we create enough space to find out what’s really needed in the moment. Our partner may need deep listening, coaching to reframe the problem, or empowerment to solve the problem themselves. When we let go of being the one with the right answer, we invite a deeper level of partnership and collaboration, which allows us to let go of some of the weight we’re carrying.
In the next month, pay attention to your knee jerk desire to fix things in your relationship and take a pause. When you can catch yourself, take a breath, and try to see a 30,000 foot view of the situation. What are the true needs of your partner and how can you facilitate that? Notice what shifts occur in you and the relationship as a result.
July 2014: “Create Resilient Relationships”tag:www.umbc.edu,2014:/blogs/wellness//67.176202014-07-07T13:31:56Z2014-07-07T13:32:53ZResilience is a trend that is getting a lot of attention these days. Resilience is the ability to positively adapt to or rebound from adversity or creatively manage ongoing stressful situations. We think of resilience as an individual capacity but...Jill Wardell
Resilience is a trend that is getting a lot of attention these days. Resilience is the ability to positively adapt to or rebound from adversity or creatively manage ongoing stressful situations. We think of resilience as an individual capacity but it is also needed in relationships. Whether we are talking about personal or work relationships, all relationships experience adversity in many forms. Having a general awareness about our collective ability to adapt and rebound to stress is important. In looking at some of the research on resilience, several core concepts emerge around creating a resilient mindset: 1) the belief in your ability to act; 2) an ability to see the situation clearly; 3) an understanding that setbacks are temporary; 4) seeing the opportunity or gift of the setback; 5) shifting negative beliefs; and 6) the ability to skillfully respond instead of react. Intentionally practicing any one of these with your partner can help enhance your relationship’s resilience.
During the next month, when adversity arises in your relationship, invite a conversation with your partner around one or more of these concepts. You might want to consider using the above concepts to structure the conversation. Regardless of how you use them, pay attention to how having this conversation shifts your experience of the adversity and deepens your relationship as a result.
June 2014: “Lessons in Recalculation from our GPS”tag:www.umbc.edu,2014:/blogs/wellness//67.176002014-06-02T19:17:54Z2014-06-02T19:18:31ZThis might sound like an odd practice for cultivating healthy relationships, but have you ever noticed how GPS systems in our cars react when we make a mistake? In paying attention to these subtleties, there may be some lessons that...Jill Wardell
This might sound like an odd practice for cultivating healthy relationships, but have you ever noticed how GPS systems in our cars react when we make a mistake? In paying attention to these subtleties, there may be some lessons that we can learn about how to work with others particularly around breakdowns. Lesson number 1#: Focus on the facts. When we make a wrong turn, our GPS simply makes note of it without beating us up, commenting or questioning why we made the mistake. Lesson #2: Focus on the desired outcome. Instead of trying to redo what went wrong, our GPS stays connected with what we want – the end destination and recalculates the directions so that we arrive hopefully safely and relatively on time. Lesson #3: Use a neutral tone. No matter how many wrong turns we make, our GPS communicates calmly each time in a neutral voice, enabling us to in turn calmly navigate our way. If these strategies help effectively solve breakdowns in the car, imagine how they might be used in our day-to-interactions with each other.
In the next month, practice incorporating these lessons into your interactions with your partners when breakdowns happen. Notice if any of the lessons feel particularly challenging for you and allow yourself to be a beginner, practicing them and observing yourself, your partner, and the overall tone of the conversation while doing so. Note what you liked and what you want to do differently moving forward. Notice how being intentional with this conversation changes the result for everyone involved.
May 2014: “Cultivate Deep Listening Through Validation”tag:www.umbc.edu,2014:/blogs/wellness//67.175762014-05-01T20:58:55Z2014-05-01T21:00:39ZThe practice of validation is another technique that you can use to increase your ability to deeply listen. We all want to be heard and understood and validating is a way to let someone know that they aren’t crazy, that...Jill Wardell
The practice of validation is another technique that you can use to increase your ability to deeply listen. We all want to be heard and understood and validating is a way to let someone know that they aren’t crazy, that they make sense to you. Sometimes, simply knowing that we make sense, we are better equipped to move through whatever difficulty we’re experiencing. To try this out, you simply need to reflect back to your partner that you understand their viewpoint, emotions, or actions. You can do this by starting off with ‘It really makes sense to me that…’ and share with your partner what makes sense about their particular situation. You may find in listening that you don’t agree with their perspective, however, this practice is not about agreement. We are looking for something in their story that makes sense to us, given the observer that they are, their history, and collective experiences (which are different than ours).
In the next month, practice deepening your listening through validating your partner’s experience. While listening, notice if you become resistant and begin creating judgments. Instead of feeding these judgments and critiques in your mind, pause, and simply notice them with acceptance before recommitting to listening from a more neutral stance. Pay attention to how the practice of validating shifts your partner and your relationship as a result.
April 2014: “Cultivate Deep Listening Through Practicing Empathy”tag:www.umbc.edu,2014:/blogs/wellness//67.175582014-04-02T15:43:37Z2014-04-02T19:22:15ZMost of us know from experience that empathy is an important skill to cultivate in relationships. It is also a critical skill in order to master deep listening. When we can imagine what it’s like to walk in our partner’s...Jill Wardell
Most of us know from experience that empathy is an important skill to cultivate in relationships. It is also a critical skill in order to master deep listening. When we can imagine what it’s like to walk in our partner’s shoes (from their perspective, not ours) and share this with them, our partner experiences a level of listening that is uncommon and powerful. In order to practice this, you first need to be present and let go of your own preconceptions and experiences that get in the way of your listening fully. Once you have heard the story, offer one-word emotions that describe what you think they must be feeling: “Given what you shared, you must be feeling…(concerned, betrayed, sad, fearful, loved, unsupported, giddy, disappointed, etc.).” Once you share these, you’ll want to check in for agreement: “Did I get that right? Are there other feelings?” and then reflect back any other emotions that they share as a result.
In the next month, try cultivating deeper levels of listening through empathizing with your partner. As you listen, envision yourself as an empty vessel, letting go of your opinions and experiences that are similar. Remember that we are all unique observers, no matter if we share similar experiences. If you drift off, shift your attention to your breathing to bring you back to the present moment. Notice how being present and practicing empathy not only improves your listening but allows your relationship to deepen to the next level as well.