Note from the editor:

This document has been painstakingly translated from its original language of archaic Tagalog through the global collaboration of historians, linguists, pseudocryptoanalysts, and computer scientists–UMBC undergraduates, and Ultimate players, each one.  I am pleased to share with you the following passage, the fruit of their labor.

The Conquest of Lafayette (excerpt from the Annals of Booya, Book of Lalimarmus)

“Autumn of the year MMIX,

It was time, again, for UMBC’s avatars of Ultimate, those to whom the Legends refer as Booya, to spill forth from Hilltop Circle as red (and white) wine from the rim of a golden-rimmed chalice, and succor the parched, uncivilised land of Easton, Pennsylvania, with the Dionysian taste of Booya glory.

Night’s veil was still over the land, when we arrived at our waypoint of Erickson parking lot, clad for battle in the garb of Waldo, as per the custom of masquerading in celebration of the Hallow’s Eve season and the request of our host, and loaded our chariots with the supplies needed for two days of conquest, for Easton was a land as distant as it was hospitable, and our good rival allies, Lafayette’s Aflicktion, had offered to garrison our forces during Saturday’s night and we had obliged. Once the preparations were complete, we traveled upon northerly paths in our war wagons, and arrived upon the fields but three hours and just a few wrong turns later.

The first contest was but minutes after our arrival at the fields, and that we were unable to prepare ourselves mentally and physically for the trials of Ultimate were evident, with misthrows and uncharacteristic drops plaguing our game. Thus, Day One, like the civilizations that the God-king Xerxes had vanquished, had, for the most part, been erased from the history books.*

On the second rising of the sun, Booya was well rested, despite fits of giggling, and Gauss’s night terrors inspired by true stories of grotesquerie and madness at a nondescript West Virginius/Pennsylvanic/Baltimoric campus, recounted by Booya’s own occult historian, Citizen Fields, and began the day earlier than the other contestants, warming up as they (Booya) had not been able to do the day before. This day, Booya was clad in its traditional arrayment, emblazoned with the visage of the Booya Pink Elephant, the rain had subsided from the previous day, and the wind was lessened, and so, the glory would be theirs.

The first contest of the day was to be against SUNY: Purchase, whom was swiftly felled by the superior mobility and prudence of Booya; our warriors consistently outmaneuvered theirs to reliably receive passes on in-cuts, and our handlers, new and old alike maintained possession by the combined virtues of caution and skill. The field conduct of SUNY, on the other hand, consisted of only moving at a pace greater than a jog on deep cuts, and throwing it far, and away, in their desperation to break our zone defense, which shut down their short game with great efficacy. Our superiority is given credence by the final count of 13-2.

Following this victory, Booya found itself facing Scranton B, with whom Booya had contended the day previous, and lost. Unwilling to allow Scranton B to seize victory yet again, we came out strong like a vengeful dragon’s fiery breath, and went up 5-2 by the same stratagems employed against SUNY. On more than one occasion, a cup comprised by the likes of Kso, Yumyum, and Loveseat (whose fresh moniker was bestowed the night, previous), augmented by well known short-deep might of Bradrey and, as we joyfully discovered, like a freshly unwrapped sword on Christmas day, of Nathan Gift (who got several blocks, including a miraculous layout D), drove Scranton B’s handlers to the remotest corner of their endzone, pinned like a small band of barbarians between a castle wall and dishonorable retreat, and by means of such mighty defense, a point was scored. However, as the weather pacified, and the winds came to be more predictable, zone defense became less effective, and their handlers began to break our cup, thus allowing them to go up 7-5. In a moment of dynamic macro-management, it was decided that it would be more effective to run a man defense, pressing Booya’s advantage in speed. On offense, Booya found itself facing the dreaded Four Man trap cup zone defense, but this in the end, could not stop Booya’s handlers from penetrating the borders of Scranton’s territory, allowing our esteemed cutters like Nathan The Gift, Lady Tanenbaum, Brooke and Kso to stake various claims in their endzone. The game went to Universe at Nines. Then Ms. Fields, who was as active off the field as on, bellowed shouts of encouragement (as she tended to do when she wasn’t destroying marks of males twice her weight and height) to stoke the fires of our team spirit.

Then we won.

However, we had won but a skirmish against the forces of Scranton, and our next game was to be against Scranton II (A?). Among their ranks was a man whose fakes destroyed our cup, as though it were parchment against his steel, until his knee exploded as a result of trying to run with Cahoon and he was forced to sit the rest of the game out. Booya’s defense, in general, held steady, preventing Scranton from running away with the game. There were personal instances of glory, however. Brooke ignited all of the stoves in her kitchen of despair, and served several generous helpings of pain, presented exquisitely in the form of run-through D’s.

And while Scranton, in this match, was more offensively capable, defensively, their defense was unable to clog the flow of Booya offense. At various points during this game, the pure RAGE of Booya’s handler’s weaved a magical tapestry, betwixt the sparkling threads of which Scranton’s cup, and downfield defenders, alike, were left both dazzled and helpless. The game went to Universe at ten’s. This was a critical battle in the campaign for both forces, for the victor would proceed to the championship bracket, and thus the point was a somewhat lengthy, extremely intense struggle for both sides. We turned the disc, and Scranton worked it down the field against our bitterly ferocious man defense. (I recall that during this point, in a brief moment of repose, perhaps during a travel call, or just after a turn, despite my exhaustion, a feeling of pure ecstasy, brought about by the manic encouragement from the Booya sideline, and the mirth of pitting the essence of my soul and constitution of my body against my foes). They worked it up to our endzone, in position to steal away the taste of victory, but each warrior on that field on that day, that strode under the flag of Booya, held fast against his adversary, and surpassed him despite the disadvantage of defense. With no weaknesses in our defense, the tide of battle turned against Scranton as soon as the disc left their handler’s hand, and in a semi-final exertion of rage, Booya scored.

In our last game, against the Lafayette Alumni, Booya’s hopes of winning the tournament are dashed, against their player’s seeming ability to throw the disc to any location on the field that they desired, and a collective experience that far surpassed our own. They quickly seized a sizable lead of four, or five, or six points. In the face of this adversity, Booya’s newest additions demonstrate that they are worthy to carry on the Pink Flame, and succeed where the veterans had failed, in scoring the first point. A total of four points are scored on behalf of Baltimore County, against Lafayette Alum, who take the game at Thirteen.

Booya accepted second place at the tournament of Lafayette, strangely nonchalant about playing in the championship, and after some McDongles (’over 1,000,000,000 served’), rode home, into the setting sun.”

*A few pieces of that lost day remain in Booya’s oral history.

One story still preserved is a tale in which Yumyum intercepts the disc in its travel to his man in the endzone, and proceeds to throw a backhand huck to LeFever, who, while clad in Wizard’s garb, makes an appropriately magickal bid to catch the disc, and throws to Loveseat for the point.

At one point, while trapped against the sideline by Scranton B’s trap cup, Cahoon throws in the manner of Lord Peaches over a cup: a high release backhand huck, prescribed the perfect amount of distance, speed, and float, to be received by a deep cutter. In this instance, Hawk was the recipient of Cahoon’s inspired throw.

During the the same game, Goose had noticed, while a travel call on Cahoon was being sorted out, that their deep deep was being inattentive, on top of being of small stature. He instructed Hawk, discreetly, to “bust ass deep,” and upon the play resuming, alerted Cahoon to the plot with the code word “BUTTSEX!” Cahoon’s fascia engaged yet again and a moment later, the disc was in Hawk’s hands, who then threw for a point.

Short version:

Delaware Showdown 2009

Rider 7-5
Bucks County CC 11-9
Franklin & Marshall 4-15
Delaware-B 11-10

Long version:

Dong broke behind a Cloud of clouds. Dreary eyes cast fearful gazes upon the insidious weather of the day. A motley Boo escaped the mouths of young, lithe Athletes as they gathered in an assortment of vehicles for travel to SHOWdown, the open tournament hosted by the University of Delaware’s SIDESHOW Ultimate. And they were driven to the depths of western Delaware, some enjoying tolls, Cher, and Burger King Breakfasts on their overcast journey, others enjoying only each others’ company and a brief chance to sleep again before the games were to begin.

Under the brave metallic canopy at the fields at Lums Pond State park, a wide array of ultimate teams gathered, including our fiercest rivals, Towson A, who narrowly vanquished us at the 2009 Colonial College Open Sectionals with a 13-3 win. Booya warmed their hands, bagged up, nuzzled, and watched with confusion and mild panic as the tournament director failed to give anyone schedules or tell them where their fields were. Ultimate players, however, can easily be distracted by the mention of “dickloads” of bread and free Cliff Bars. And thus began the tournament.

But not for Booya. Over half an hour later, word came through the Yum-Yum vine that Rider was told they had a bye during the first round. Our first game, which began nearly an hour after it was supposed to begin, lasted for 30 minutes. Booya was warm as a Burger King Breakfast Croissant and decided to make use of it with play that was sweet as Burger King Breakfast Syrup Intended for French Toast Sticks. Booya took a fast lead, with the offensive line immediately putting Rider on the defensive, and the Booya defensive line making Rider cower in Fear and shiver with more than just the chill and excessive moisture. The field began to fall apart and turn into a mud pit while Booya ran several points, demonstrating Flow such as has not been seen since the Nile River Valley was last flooded. O Captain, Our Captain Gauss point blocked a hammer, while screaming “hammer”, proving that philosophy majors cannot provide useful information — ever. QED.

T-Bag demonstrated a remarkable, genie-like capacity to float for lengthy periods in order to protect our skies from the catches of wayward Riders. He proceeded to own the shit out of every player he ran against, all day until his knees give out (giving him time to reflect upon the Mortal Wounds he has inflicted upon the souls of his Adversaries). And also mourning that he did not catch the only huck Carlos Lalimarmo threw that day, despite it being a beautiful and infectious chubby-inducing throw. Bradrey gets some totally bogus Ds, nothing unusual.

The game was not all one way however. Rider made a respectable comeback, taking advantage of our mild case of the Deadly Fire (not syphilis), and flummoxed us sufficient to leave us with a 7-5 win for the first round at hard cap.

Another game, another team convinced they had a bye. Bucks County CC, a grizzled bunch of basketball players masquerading as an ultimate team, told us the tournament director told them they had a bye. This is all hearsay. The author hearsays that is a heap of horse faeces. Our cold, wet, bedazzled team maintained spirits and played a quick pickup game with Rider to keep warm. Booya took a few moments to thank the rainy, gray Heavens that ultimate exists, that we have a coach in the form of the illustrious Bill Mill, and that we could start the game before an additional hour had passed.

Brief highlights of the game against Bucks County CC: Greg “Greggles” “I have LeFever” LeFever broke cups like twigs; Asians mustered the might of all of Asia to run terrifying offenses and knock discs to the ground with explosive chops; Carebear threw a huck to a deep-cutting me (Kahuna), who got tripped by someone’s knee to his thigh, rolled to his feet instantaneously, and took advantage of a terrible misread by his opponent, catching the mildly confusing huck in the endzone; Caveman convinced the team he should be leaving his studies to the robots and spending his time on playing D for Booya. Another somewhat close Booya vanquishment at 11-9, at soft cap.

And then we played with Franklin & Marshall. And got p’ZONED. They ran a terribly effective trap cup, leaving only one man out of the wall to guard the deeps. Booya then forgot how to throw hammers, cut upline, thread cups, catch discs, kneecap fools, complain, and more, and suffers a rather flaccid defeat at 4-15. That said, rookies and vets alike ran their skinny little bums off, particularly our consistently speedy running rookies (Nick ‘Cise’, Hauck ‘Hawk’, Lorenzo ‘Lola’, Will ‘Grace’, Boobie ‘Karl’). Deep, egregious props to the team for not giving up on this game, despite its rather demoralizing nature.

By this point, the field upon which we had been playing looked like the colorless aftermath of a Hook food fight, and was nigh impossible to change direction or speed on. Our fearless guide, Bill Mill, created an alternate field to destroy, and this killing field is where we played our next game.

Delaware B. The final game. The game that decided whether or not Bradrey would tell us he would give us cookies and then not give them to us, rather than just being straight with us about it. The game which would test our mettle against a sideline of drunk women. The game which would fill us with the most anticipation and excitement of the weekend.

Lots of zone, both offense and defense. Booya rookies and vets alike showed how much they want the disc. We discovered that Clarkson can pop like Gauss and get some nasty Ds. This is confusing, given that he is nearly as tall as an ancient Woolly Mammoth, but we choose not to look a gift Mammoth in the Mouth. More rookie running in the cup, with fantastic handling between the Pilates, Carebear, Greg. Nacho and Will did some lovely popping, everyone catching strange throws that scared the jeepers out of your author. Pilates threw some beautiful hucks. Cahoon caught a very strange loopy flick by Window, who had been playing mighty solid, and a chilly throw in the end zone by Karlsberg. Dippity played some HUGE D on a guy about a foot and a half taller than him, shutting down the deep, and getting a run through D in zone. Greg finally pulled out the hammer swings, and they

are beautiful. Hawk helped rescue many execution errors from vets, making him look more seasoned than the heavily seasoned vets he rescued. A chef, almost. Points traded, and universe point arrived. To win the universe.

The disc turned about one million times, pretty much every time on their endzone. Including point blocks on Bradrey, Bradrey getting point blocks, Bradrey getting layout Ds, Bradrey throwing things. Other people played too, but mostly Bradrey was infused with Essence of Testosterone that point. Everyone on the field ran their asses off. Finally, Kahuna left his man behind and ran past a horde of defenders and Booya folk to catch a beautiful throw by Carlos Lalimarmo in the back of the endzone for the game.

And thus, the YA was breathed from the mouths of a weary team. Everyone removed the mud they called clothes, then left the field of dreams, with hope for another day. Many made a trip to Jangalang and and settled in for a relaxing ride home. In different clothing.

However, as the sun set, we were informed by the tournament director, he who we do not so much respect anyway, that the next day of game was canceled, due to how thoroughly the day ravaged the fields of Lums Pond.

With the most profound of respect,

Christopher “Kahuna” Cahoon
Sophist-in-Residence

For those of you unaware or uninitiated in the Meech-style (now Booya-style) write-up, they can be rather lengthy. As always, here is a short summary that you should read only if you hate the authors of the longer version (Cahoon, Carlos, and Peyote). Happy Reading!

First Day: 1-3

Game 1: Loss to IUP (Indiana University of Pennsylvania): 10-11
Game 2: Loss to Dickinson: 5-13
Game 3: Win over Goucher: 13-6
Game 4: Loss to SUNY Fredonia: 6-13

Second Day: 2-1

Game 1: Loss to VCU (Virginia Commonwealth University): 8-11
Game 2: Win over Penn College: 13-8
Game 3: Win over IUP: 13-5

Overall Record: 3-4 taking 9th place at the tournament. For a better story, read on…

And thus does Booya return, in cars swelling with rookies and vets alike, to Gettysburg, the land of grand battles to keep this country in the hands of Honest Abe. A day of unfavorable weather followed by a day of seasonable weather. A day of Katie and Kelly playing savage like Iron Women built of gem stones, ambrosia, and the most pleasantly scented cedar, followed by a day that required slightly less outlandish sacrifice. Two days of cutters handling, of rookies cutting, of Babies and Onlookers who could not help but weep at the beauty of the sport that is Ultimate. Two days which shall now be recounted:

Day 1: Game 1 - Booya 10 : IUP 11

Excited and nervous to get the Fall season underway, Booya let IUP take an early 4-1 lead. After a deep, collective breath, our players stopped rushing and took their time throwing to some good cuts made by Spider, Nick, Clarkson, Karl, and Kelly. Chilly handling from the vets, practiced dump throws from the rookies, and some female reinforcements in the form of Addy and Trau from Goucher brought us back even just before IUP took half 6-7. The second half was much tighter with rookies turning it up a notch (Nach) by making harder incuts and taking more initiative in the offense. The second half also saw the very surprising, first ever, in-game huck from Nacho to Spider. The Gods saw this as an opportunity to weep, and the rain began soon after. Kelly also makes herself popular as a reciever, but unfortunately no one can seem to throw to her without putting it about 8 feet above her head. Another aspect of this game is the frequent and dubious (read: bullshit) travel calls and ensuing yellings of various spirited rejoinders. Booya then starts to get big on D with Gauss laying out to shut down an incut, Cahoon point blocking an attempted huck and KSO generally never letting his man touch the disc. Booya brings it to

Universe point at tens after the soft cap goes on. Brad gets a huge layout D near their endzone only to incur yet another travel call. After a few turnovers one of their players catches but loses the disc to an apparent D by Goucher’s own Addy Heilman. A strip call ensues which is upheld by our team, and then he reminds us that he was just inside the endzone line when it occurs, giving them the game. Very anticlimactic, much like finally seeing the extremely mundane car accident that kept you in stop-and-go traffic for an hour, and wanting only to just drive on and hope for greener pastures and mixeder metaphors.

Day 1: Game 2 - Booya 5 : Dickinson 13

During our second round bye the wind started gusting and the rain started falling from the Tear Ducts of Heaven. In addition to the shitty weather, we were up against Dickinson, a good team which beat us soundly when we played them during this (self)same tournament one year previous. Even so, Booya held its own and improved its new HO-stack with some chilly handling and fewer throw-aways than the previous game. The rookies stepped up again (a trend this weekend) while playing Zone offense for the very first time, with Jayson and Tall Man Hopkins popping like gazelles, who, when removed from their natural habitat, can get open for discs quite handily and catch them in a manner that is very delightful. However, the wet weather forces a lot more drops and slows down our cutting, giving Dickinson the game without much trouble.

Day 1: Game 3 - Booya 13 : Goucher 6

Putting the last game behind us, Booya turns things around in a fun game with our cross-town friends from the College of Goucher. This game saw lots of improvement over the previous one with much better handling and decisions from the likes of Cahoon, KSO, and Clarkson. PJ Hemler, Karl, Joel, and Gauss clamp down and get about 15 Ds between them and Kelly and Katie play hard against Goucher’s ten girls. Rookies and vets alike show that, in the Spirit of Ultimate, they like catching discs and not throwing them at the ground. This is a grand improvement over the Kahuna incident of 9:17am that day.

Day 1: Game 4 - Booya 6 : SUNY Fredonia A 13

In this hard-fought game, Booya gets its groove back in the way that Stella would approve of by running shop on Fredonia’s Zone D. Our handlers (Brad, Gauss, Cahoon, Peyote, Carebear, Yum-Yum aka Window) show their willingness to literally break cups apart (and deserve Gold Medals) by swinging all day and then only throw up field once their players no longer have the ability to run or to feel love. Zone O is further improved once Booya’s rookies watch the likes of Nacho, Carlos and KSO popping.

Throughout the game our two brave girls continue to fight hard on D despite having played savage for most of the day AND still manage to get open enough to score a couple points. In the end, Booya simply can’t hold on to the disc near the endzone and SUNY Fredonia puts it away. However, as a testament to the struggle they had to endure even to win by 7 points, Fredonia cheers like it’s Universe once they finally put in the 13th point. Afterward, tourney Pizza is enjoyed by all, followed by Five Guys (in our mouths) and a very cold, wet and bruised Booya is happy to travel home, gazing forward to the promise of the second day of the Abe Lincoln Fall Classic 2009 Ultimate Tournament.

Day 2: Game 1 - Booya 8 : VCU 11

Excited to play in nicer weather and with double the ladies, Booya still got off the blocks a little slow in this one trying to integrate a new (lovely) set of rookies. After promising a birthday Callahan to Dippity, Booya delivers, but on the wrong side of the field. Demoralizing as it was, Booya keeps its chin up and works hard to keep it even through half with chilly handling and some well placed deep throws. Oh yeah, and then there was this point: VCU didn’t know what was to hit them in the end zone when Carlos stepped on the field and, to quote, “jizzed all over that point.” After getting a huge D on a dump pass, Mr. Lalimarmo proceeds to throw for and catch the next point (with a travel call in between). Ian, Skinny, Dippity, and Joel bust their rears on defense, with Clarkson harvesting discs from the morning sky in Deep Deep as though he had lived on a farm for 7 years. After some miscommunication and trouble with Zone, VCU gets a few breaks and beats us 11 to 8, squashing our hopes of going to the finals, and sending us to the grassy knoll above, which indeed became a killing field.

Day 2: Game 2 - Booya 13 : Penn College 8

As the day skips along, Booya again forgets to work hard enough to dismantle a team that it should’ve beaten easily. Penn College plays with 9 people, only two of whom were girls. After informing us that their girls had never played before, Booya obliges PC by allowing them go 6/1 when on offense, but resolves to run their girls into the ground no matter what. In this game, rookies like Clarkson, Joel, Lorenzo, Will and Ian take a few more chances which start to pay off as they complete more and more passes under pressure. Dennin dominates with a huge, full-stretch, layout D on an incut right in front of our own sideline and Greg displays his prowess and roguish charm by getting big for enzone catches over our own girls (Kelly and Griffy), who fall down as a result of his massive ups and disregard for the sharing of glory. Also, Cahoon, barely marked, winds up like a fucking top and puts it deep to Double D in the endzone. Picking up our flow, Booya closes it out and gets ready for the rematch…

Day2: Game 3 - Booya 13 : IUP 5

This was the team that, if you didn’t randomly start in the middle of this write-up, you know beat us on Universe in our very first game the day previous. Booya was not ready to let this happen again. Peyote starts us off right by putting up a big huck to an unmarked Danny in the endzone, getting the shit  kicked out of his throwing hand in the process. The sun was out and our guns were definitely ablazin’ — we played with such precision and flow that, before we knew it, we’d taken half 7-2. The second half IUP came back with a little more fight, but Booya didn’t get discouraged. Smart throws from cutters (Will, Skinny, Ian, Kelly, Griffy) and handlers (Greg, Cahoon, Brad, Carebear, etc.) made for some very serious offense and Carlos, Brad, Joel, Cahoon and pretty much everyone else get tight on D. Did I mention our rockin’ ladies? Holy shit did they ever turn up the defensive pressure on IUP’s very quick girls. Every one of them (Sam, Holly, Griffy and Kelly) got at least one D, with Kelly and Holly’s coming in the endzone. IUP puts up a few points, but before long Booya puts it away and clinches 9th place at the Abe Lincoln Fall Classic (with only three hand casualities known by your fair author: one broken finger (Gauss), one extremely swollen hand (Peyote), and one jammed thumb (Kelly)).

Afterwards, roastbeef and laughs are shared at Jangby’s (Arby’s) on the way back, with a uproarous round of best/worst, heckling, milkshakes, and Gauss wearing girl flipflops.

And thus concludes the classic fall weekend of Abe Lincoln.

CANCELED: Due to a lack of interest, the tournament has been canceled.

UPDATE: Now 10/31-11/1 and OPEN not mixed.

UMBC has been out of tournament hosting for almost 2 years now, but
we’re back and it’s going to be better than ever.

Location: Catonsville, Maryland (2 minutes from UMBC campus)
Dates: 10/31-11/1
Format: Open
Spots Available: 10
Cost: $200

Other: Food bags and water will be provided, and there will most
likely be a party Saturday night. We can provide floor space for teams
needing a place to stay.

Please send your bids to booya.ultimate@gmail.com by October 16th.

-Booya Ultimate

UPDATE: They will be here September 15th!

UPDATE: They will be shipped September 11th!

New discs should arrive some time in mid-September. Here is what they will look like (on white, and on black).