UMBC Wellness in the Workplace

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November 2012: “Take effective action or let it go”

In any given day, there are many things that happen to us that can lead to upset…we have a difficult conversation with a colleague, a collaborative effort with others doesn’t go smoothly and a deadline is missed, our boss gives us a last-minute project with an urgent deadline, our partner doesn’t do what they say they are going to do, etc. These situations can throw us off balance and lead us into a downward spiral of upset and negativity that can impact our own well being and that of our relationship. We often forget that we have a choice in how we react to these situations and instead we become the victim. What if, with these same situations, the next time we choose to either take some sort of effective action (have a conversation, make a request, let the person know how we feel, etc.) or let it go?

This month, start becoming aware of the upset that gets generated on a daily basis. Decide which of the numerous upsetting things you can let go of. Then let go and observe how you feel and what difference it makes in your relationship. For the more important things that you can’t let go of, what request can you make instead of complaining about it? Or does it feel more effective to first have a conversation with that person and talk about how you feel when it happens, and then make a request? Try out different ‘moves’ and notice which one best helps you and your relationship move through the upset and achieve harmony.