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« Otis Skinner and Jenny Joseph | Main | The God of Longevity »

November 3, 2007 |Permalink |Comments (9)

She Bang

Pulled up these two comments because they inspired me to comment...

My mother, a woman of theatrical bent, remembered Cornelia Otis Skinner with great fondness. Now in the next generation, I appreciate but am tired of seeing women in purple dresses topped by red hats on every corner then having to explain them to my grandchildren.

Two points resonate for me here:

First, I had a heck of a time sorting out the source of "no need to be sporting" quote. Several websites attributed the words to Cornelius Otis Skinner but the Wikipedia only mentions an Otis Skinner, father of Cornelia Otis Skinner. Try as I might, I could not find a citation that attributed the quote to Cornelia herself. Does anyone know the true source of the quote?

Second, I was not aware that the Red Hat Society was becoming passe. If it is, that represents great progress toward escaping that prim and proper straight jacket that has so long confined older people, especially older women. (in the same way that the March of Dimes was changed by the development of the polio vaccine) If it is still a vibrant and growing movement then many women must continue to feel that it offers something important. Are there any Red Hat Society members out there and would you be willing to offer your thoughts?

I so agree with the previous comment by Ms. Bailely. I enjoyed the original; anything since has gotten "old hat" red purple or whatever. Wouldn't it have been nice to read a more thoughtful comment from a woman, rather more like the "he says", the one here makes women too stereotypical.

The irony is that both comments may have been made by women. Here is a quick sketch of Cornelia Otis Skinner written by Michael G. Cornelius. Apparently she was a wildly talented, deeply original woman who may have been ahead of her time in many ways.

A Renaissance woman, Skinner was the author of numerous essays and several collections of light verse. Her work is characterized by wit and deft social criticism.
Collections of her work include Tiny Garments (1932), Excuse It, Please! (1936), Nuts in May (1950), and The Ape in Me (1959). Her best known work is the best-selling Our Hearts Were Young and Gay (1942), a humorous travelogue written with Emily Kimbrough describing a European vacation. Skinner also penned a well-received biography of Sarah Bernhardt, Madame Sarah (1967).

Although she is best known as a stage actress, and especially for her one-woman shows and monologues, Skinner also appeared in several films. Her first role was a small part as Miskah in Kismet (1920), and her most notable roles were as Mrs. Hammar in The Swimmer and as Miss Holloway in The Uninvited (1944).

Our Hearts Were Young and Gay is an interesting mix of lesbian homoerotic subtext and an almost childish naïveté regarding sexuality. Kimbrough seems surprised by such erotic contexts as the painting "Leda and the Swan" and startled to hear why Oscar Wilde was sent to prison. Skinner, the narrator of the book, recites these passages with an almost bemused tone, though she never describes her relationship with Kimbrough as anything more than homosocial.

Skinner's works often feature close bonds between young girls. She was also attracted to sexually ambiguous roles as an actress. Perhaps the best example of this is the rather heavy-handed lesbian subtext in The Uninvited involving the Gail Russell character's late stepmother (one of the ghosts now haunting the manor) and Skinner's mysterious Miss Holloway.

Despite her marriage to Alden Sanford Blodget (1928?-1964), the relationships that were most important in her own life seem to have been with other women.

Does anyone have some good quotes about women and aging?

Comments ( 9)

Here are some quotes about aging by women ...

It seems that in old age we mostly are what we have been earlier, only more so. (Avis D. Carlson, In the Fullness of Time, 1977)

There is no old age. There is, as there always was, just you.
(Carol Matthau, writer, excerpt from Oprah magazine, May 2004)

In the evening there are stars that cannot be seen in the daytime. There really are.
(Avis D. Carlson, In the Fullness of Time, 1977)

Posted by Cindy Cosenzo
November 3, 2007 7:16 PM

Hello Dr. Bill-

You are a true bodhisattva of enlightenment and compassion for all your efforts on behalf of ALL of us, young and old alike. From the moment we take that firt gasp of air after leaving the safety of our mothers womb we start down that inevitable path towards aging and death. You lite the way..and your's is indeed "A path with Heart" Thank you for this.

Here's a favorite quote of mine from an undoubtedly geotranscendant feminine mind...to wit, Gloria Steinem

“The truth will set you free. But
first, it will piss you off.”

Having recently achieved the status as a "woman of a certain age" I have suddenly found myelf free of so many terrible constraints...like bras and pinchy toed high-heels (ouch!), and having to politely hold my tongue...instead of giving much needed feedback to nasty children and adults in public...I'm old...I'm finally free to be me...but it's such a pisser that it comes with wrinkles and crinkles and creaky bones! But in truth, what I'm really free of, is the opinion of others...I cannot be cajoled, controlled or subverted from MY agenda by the fear that someone will not approve of me...now THAT is power! I may no longer be considered sexy...but boy, I'm now an indomitable force to be reckoned with! So I'm done with being pissed at the wrinkles...I'll take em all in stride as I go for it...life...on my terms and in my own good time...thank you my dear!

Posted by Brooke Anderson-Lee
November 4, 2007 1:28 AM

Hello Dr. Bill-

Here's a favorite quote of mine from an undoubtedly geotranscendant feminine mind...to wit, Gloria Steinem

“The truth will set you free. But
first, it will piss you off.”

Posted by Brooke Anderson-Lee
November 4, 2007 1:28 AM

In "Now Is the Time to Open Your Heart," a luminous novel by Alice Walker (Random House, 2004), the character Kate talks with Yolo. Kate has just returned from a search for "the grandmother" or the ancient wisdom of Grandmother Earth. Here's their conversation:

". . . just when I was on the point of dying of loneliness and lack of direction, I wailed: Oh, Grandmother, you are not here! And she said: But you are. . . .
You are Grandmother, said Yolo.
Yes, said Kate. I thought I could avoid it, I guess . . . Yes, I am Grandmother as she is; there is no separation, really, between us. And that, on this planet, Grandmother Earth, there is no higher authority. That our insparability is why the planet will be steered to safety at all.
Raging Grannies, said Yolo, Gray Panthers.
No, said Kate. Grand Mothers. We must acknowledge and reclaim our true size. Dignity is important. Self-respect. We cannot lead by pretending to be powerless. We're not. Age is power.

Posted by Virginia
November 4, 2007 11:44 AM

James Arthur Ray, author of The Science of Success, posted a great passage from the Bible on his blog, Practical Mystic:
"When I was a child, I used to speak like a child, think like a child, reason like a child; when I became a man, I did away with childish things."
--1 Corinthians 13:11 (New American Standard)
I first learned of this passage watching the Oprah show where she had Christiane Northrup (Wisdom of Menaupause) as a guest talking about women transitioning into their post-menopausal life. Oprah paraphrased this passage to make the point that menopause carries certain developmental tasks for women that have to do with the rebirth of one's soul. Acoording to Dr. Northrup, by the time a woman hits menopause, she is physically, mentally and emotionally exhausted. Dr. Northrup refers to this phenomenon as "breakdown to breakthrough".
Coincidentally, as I am now reading Reb Zalman's book "from Age-ing to Sage-ing" I came across the same concept in the context of becoming an elder. He says that, as people grow older, they will inevitably show, what we commonly refer to as the signs of aging - wrinkled skin, changes in hearing and vision, sluggish metabolism, etc. He states that, while we should do what we can to remain physically fit, we should look at these signs as the transitioning from one developmental stage into another. Reb Zalman states, "If we consciously embrace our aging..., we can avoid becoming elderly and initiate the process of becoming elders. In this way, the breakdown of the youthful self can lead to the breakthrough of the emerging elder self".
I wonder if one can apply this concept to life events that may not necessarily be a part of a developmental transitioning, but rather, a more fluid personal growth, a crucible, if you will. If we develop a more contemplative outlook when dealing with our day-to-day struggles in youth, we may not have to spend too much time resurrecting our unlived life later on.

Posted by Dorothea Johnson
November 4, 2007 6:39 PM

James Arthur Ray, author of The Science of Success, posted a great passage from the Bible on his blog, Practical Mystic:
"When I was a child, I used to speak like a child, think like a child, reason like a child; when I became a man, I did away with childish things."
--1 Corinthians 13:11 (New American Standard)
I first learned of this passage watching the Oprah show where she had Christiane Northrup (Wisdom of Menopause) as a guest talking about women transitioning into their post-menopausal life. Oprah paraphrased this passage to make the point that menopause carries certain developmental tasks for women that have to do with the rebirth of one's soul. According to Dr. Northrup, by the time a woman hits menopause, she is physically, mentally and emotionally exhausted. Dr. Northrup refers to this phenomenon as "breakdown to breakthrough".
Coincidentally, as I am now reading Reb Zalman's book "from Age-ing to Sage-ing" I came across the same concept in the context of becoming an elder. He says that, as people grow older, they will inevitably show what we commonly refer to as the signs of aging - wrinkled skin, changes in hearing and vision, sluggish metabolism, etc. He states that, while we should do what we can to remain physically fit, we should look at these signs as the transitioning from one developmental stage into another. Reb Zalman states, "If we consciously embrace our aging..., we can avoid becoming elderly and initiate the process of becoming elders. In this way, the breakdown of the youthful self can lead to the breakthrough of the emerging elder self".
I wonder if one can apply this concept to life events that may not necessarily be a part of a developmental transitioning, but rather, a more fluid personal growth that may occur at any point of our spiritual journey, a crucible, if you will. If we develop a more contemplative outlook when dealing with our day-to-day struggles in youth, we may not have to spend too much time resurrecting our “unlived life” later on.

Posted by Dorothea Johnson (MAgS)
November 4, 2007 6:55 PM

James Arthur Ray, author of The Science of Success, posted a great passage from the Bible on his blog, Practical Mystic:
"When I was a child, I used to speak like a child, think like a child, reason like a child; when I became a man, I did away with childish things."
--1 Corinthians 13:11 (New American Standard)
I first learned of this passage watching the Oprah show where she had Christiane Northrup (Wisdom of Menopause) as a guest talking about women transitioning into their post-menopausal life. Oprah paraphrased this passage to make the point that menopause carries certain developmental tasks for women that have to do with the rebirth of one's soul. According to Dr. Northrup, by the time a woman hits menopause, she is physically, mentally and emotionally exhausted. Dr. Northrup refers to this phenomenon as "breakdown to breakthrough".
Coincidentally, as I am now reading Reb Zalman's book "from Age-ing to Sage-ing" I came across the same concept in the context of becoming an elder. He says that, as people grow older, they will inevitably show what we commonly refer to as the signs of aging - wrinkled skin, changes in hearing and vision, sluggish metabolism, etc. He states that, while we should do what we can to remain physically fit, we should look at these signs as the transitioning from one developmental stage into another. Reb Zalman states, "If we consciously embrace our aging..., we can avoid becoming elderly and initiate the process of becoming elders. In this way, the breakdown of the youthful self can lead to the breakthrough of the emerging elder self".
I wonder if one can apply this concept to life events that may not necessarily be a part of a developmental transitioning, but rather, a more fluid personal growth that may occur at any point of our spiritual journey, a crucible, if you will. If we develop a more contemplative outlook when dealing with our day-to-day struggles in youth, we may not have to spend too much time resurrecting our “unlived life” later on.

Posted by Dorothea Johnson (MAgS)
November 4, 2007 7:02 PM

Here's a quote from Garrison Keillor's Writer's Almanac on May 7 of this year regarding Jenny Joseph, the author of "Warning" (the "I shall wear purple" poem):

It's the birthday of the poet Jenny Joseph, born in Birmingham, England (1932). She was an aspiring poet throughout her 20s, supporting herself with odd jobs. Then in 1960, when she was 28 years old, she published a poem called "Warning," which began with the line, "When I am an old woman, I shall wear purple."

The poem was moderately successful at first, published in several anthologies, but then it began to spread across the world among people who don't usually read poetry. It was photocopied and passed around and stuck up on people's refrigerators. People read it at church gatherings and funerals and senior citizen homes. In 1996, in a poll conducted by the BBC, it was voted as Britain's favorite post-war poem, beating out Dylan Thomas's "Do Not Go Gentle Into that Good Night."

Somehow, as the poem became more and more popular, Jenny Joseph's name as the author was lost. Other people claimed to have written the poem, or it was attributed to "Anonymous." Jenny Joseph eventually published an authorized, illustrated version of the poem in 1997, which sold thousands of copies. Her name is still not as well known as that one poem, but today she is considered one of the foremost contemporary British poets.

When she was asked if she would start wearing purple anytime soon, Jenny Joseph replied, "I can't stand purple. It doesn't suit me."

Books by Jenny Joseph: http://tinyurl.com/yv6zfz

Posted by SuzyR
November 7, 2007 12:07 PM

I found these quotes on this site: http://www.quotelady.com/subjects/aging.html

"Age is of no importance unless you are a cheese."--Billie Burke

"Age puzzles me. I thought it was a quiet time. My seventies were interesting and fairly serene, but my eighties are passionate. I grow more intense as I age."--Florida Scott-Maxwell

"The excitement of learning separates youth from old age. As long as you're learning you're not old."--Rosalyn S. Yalow

"The great thing about getting older is that you don't lose all the other ages you've been."--Madeleine L'Engle (The New York Times, 1985)

"There is a fountain of youth: it is your mind, your talents, the creativity you bring to your life and the lives of people you love. When you learn to tap this source, you will truly have defeated age."--Sophia Loren

And although this isn't by a woman, I couldn't resist it:

"You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake."--Bob Hope

Posted by SuzyR
November 7, 2007 12:57 PM

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« Otis Skinner and Jenny Joseph | Main | The God of Longevity »

November 3, 2007 |Permalink |Comments (9)

She Bang

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