One of the elements of language that impacts our relationships is requests. There is a strong correlation between the requests we make and trust. When we make vague requests, we diminish the chances of others being able to fulfill them, and a breach in trust can quickly form. It’s easy for us to focus the blame on the person we asked, concluding that they don’t ‘make good’ on their promises, however how have we co-created the problem in the way that we communicated the request? Might we receive better results and build trust with others if we learn how to make a clear and crisp request?
See the attached worksheet which details the elements of an effective request and provides a self-coaching exercise. In the next month use this worksheet as a guide to practice making effective requests with your partners. While it might feel a bit contrived at first to check for agreement on each of the elements, doing so will increase your chances of uncovering breakdowns in communication. The more comfortable you become in making effective requests, the more natural your language will become. Notice how making effective requests impacts their ability to fulfill them and your ability to trust them.
Posted on April 4, 2011 9:10 AM Permalink