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July 2011: “Deliver Feedback Effectively”

Learning to effectively deliver difficult feedback in a way that preserves relationships is both a science and an art. The structure is important – what you say, where, and when you say it – this is the science. The art comes into play in how you say what you say – how you use your voice, body, and gestures to communicate your message. Most of us choose to have a conversation before we’re clear about what we’re upset about and the result of this can be damaging to our relationships. What would it be like to design these exchanges so that we can communicate our situation authentically but in a way that’s objective enough for our partner to hear?

See the attached worksheet that provides a structure for having the conversation as well as tips for designing your presence. In the next month, identify a low-level conflict where you’ll try out this new structure. Notice how the conversation goes and any shifts in the relationship that result.

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